Today is 2nd September 1666. I woke up. Then I brushed my teeth with a stick. Then I buried my parmesan for fun. Then London went on fire. Then I realised that I wouldn’t be able to get my parmesan because London went on fire. Then I had my dinner and went to sleep. MLiL
Posted in Dear Diary
Dear Kitty,
Today, I sneezed.
This is not normally such a problem.
MLiL
Posted in Dear Diary
Today, the loss of an archetypical father figure and/or a chance encounter led to a series of other frankly improbable coincidences which I can like TOTALLY pass off as being part of the mosaic of American life and shit. I probably also endured a period of literal and metaphysical poverty and had to eat the pages of the red notebook on which I wrote this very MLiL, before writing an MLiL about that MLiL which – aha! – wasn’t written by me at all! PSYCH!
Posted in Modern Classics
Today, I bought my own flowers, threw a party, lost a friend. MLiL
Posted in Modern Classics
Today, I wrote a poem about my parents. I hope they don’t read it! ^.^ ROFL! MLiL
Posted in Poemz
Today, I threw an awesome party. Don’t think I’m gonna go though. MLiL
Posted in Modern Classics
Today, I got attacked by a racist with a kitchen knife. Whilst dressed as a giant ham. Boo. MLiL
Posted in Modern Classics
Urrrh, Geowge, today, I done killed a puppy. Ah culdnt help it, Geowge, I done killed it. So purdy. Urrrrh. Nah whure’s that ladeh wid all that purdy heyyur. Geowge? Urrrh, Geowge? Whaddayadooin’ Geowge? MLiL
Posted in Modern Classics
Today, I was born. So was India. So were a whole bunch of other kids. They told me so. MLiL
Posted in Modern Classics
Today, I got roofied by a date-raping fairy. Feel a bit of an ass. MLiS
Posted in Shakespeare
My Life is Literary 