Urrrh, Geowge, today, I done killed a puppy. Ah culdnt help it, Geowge, I done killed it. So purdy. Urrrrh. Nah whure’s that ladeh wid all that purdy heyyur. Geowge? Urrrh, Geowge? Whaddayadooin’ Geowge? MLiL
Today, I was born. So was India. So were a whole bunch of other kids. They told me so. MLiL
Today, I got roofied by a date-raping fairy. Feel a bit of an ass. MLiS
Today, it’s a summer’s day. I’m pretty sure it reminds me of something, but I just can’t put my finger on it. MLiS
Today, my boyfriend went batshit crazy. Over a handkerchief?! Sick of him smothering me, I really am. MLiS
Today, I’m getting pretty sick of my wife’s moaning. Glamis, Cawdor, what more does she want? Srsly. MLiS.
Today, I finally slapped my bitchin’ wife into submission. MLiS